


Go and Get 'Em, Tiger

by CardinalCopia



Category: Ghost (Swedish Band)
Genre: Copia doesn't fully understand his sexuality, Kissing, Other, Sibling Incest (implied), but it's okay we know he's gay, crushes on people you shouldn't have crushes on (from Copia's behalf), rad rat dad copia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-18
Updated: 2018-05-18
Packaged: 2019-05-08 17:33:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14699019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CardinalCopia/pseuds/CardinalCopia
Summary: Sometimes you shoot out of your league, but end up right in your league.





	Go and Get 'Em, Tiger

**Author's Note:**

> I have no clue what happens in this fic, but I also want to go to sleep so fuck it all I'm just gonna upload it as is. Adios, fuckos.

The candles were still burning from the evening mass and nobody was rushing to extinguish them. The setting-- dim, obviously, due to the lack of any other source of light coming in, but as many others in the clergy, the cardinal enjoyed it quite a bit...

Copia had just watched the brothers, Emeritus II and III, leave, meanwhile arguing under their breath. He eyed them curiously, but in the end, his interest pulled him elsewhere. Instead, both his mismatched eyes landed on Papa Nil talking to Sister Imperator.

With his heart in his throat from the internal panic, he stepped carefully over to their general direction. However, he had received a stern look from Sister that warned him to keep his distance at least for now. So instead, he chose to inspect his watch in a pretense of doing something.

Looking at the old model… old and not even remotely vintage… Not at all aged like fine wine. Barely working, barely ticking, but Copia always found affection for the longevous. It admittedly was his weakness. The worse the thing aged, the more he liked it. Perhaps he had poor taste?

He was too distracted forcing himself to watch the little arrows tick away on the gadget, to even realize how time actually passed.

“Is there a problem, Cardinal?” Sister Imperator spoke, startling him. Copia was incredibly close to jumping out of his skin then, but he tried to play it off cool and pretend his little tense up was something—anything—else.

“N- no. Of course not.” Copia's voice strains, betraying the slight heart palpitations that were tying him up with the unsavory feeling. This tended to happen too often. He wasn't as strong or capable as he wanted to be in front of Nil. He knew why that was. Having realized it long ago, or well, relatively long ago... But he never figured out what would be the correct course of actions. “Well, actually…” The man gulped, averting his eyes from Sister Imperator, and in his head, pleading for her to leave the scene, but her sinister eyes betrayed she was planning on doing no such thing.

A moment passed as Copia fidgeted, before braving himself ahead.

“I was wondering if— Well, I mean… Actually--“ He word-vomited that out, rather than said it.

“Cardinal, I do not have time for you stumbling over your words.” Nil spoke, frustrated.

“Right.” Copia nodded his head over-enthusiastically.

A pause.

“So what is it?”

“Well, I just believe—erm, there are matters we should… discuss. In private!” He then would have loved to shoot a dismissive glare at the woman, but unfortunately, he feared her too much to actually achieve that. Instead, he gulped and his eyes fixated on the other man’s face.

“Cardinal, whatever it is I am sure we can discuss it here. Now.”

"Yes, of course, your dark Excellency."

Fuck, this wasn’t going at all according to plan. He didn’t want for /her/ to be here, especially in case he faced failure.

The cardinal glanced down, seeing himself unconsciously tug at his cassock, but not having enough will to stop it. His body tended to act without his consent too often.

“I would like to inform you, I wish to do more work… If any of my services are required, I would do my best, Papa.” He finally musters out. Usually, when a sister of sin says that to any of the Papas’, one knew what it meant… It was too on the nose, too obvious, But yet—suppose being a male who said it, it is ignored or denied. Instead, Sister Imperator chuckles quietly, as Nil looks at him, unsure.

“Of course, Cardinal. I shall keep this in mind.” 

The two elders then walked away, leaving a shamed Copia to stand in one spot as slowly the candles began to settle down. With even less light in the chancel, the man is left looking at one of the many stained glass windows, depicting none other but the dark lord.

He sighs, closing his eyes.

Suppose there’s always next time.

* * *

 

Copia stood outside of the cathedral, throat dry, overall sweaty, and cheeks blushing. This only came as his natural resolution to what had happened before. He couldn't say this was his preference. But he needed to prove himself... normal? Well, to the extent of the clergy. He needed them to not be suspicious.

A sister of sin rounded the corner and was about to walk into the building, but Copia stepped in between her way.

"Hello, sister." He began, trying to sound pleasant. It didn't fully work out.

"Cardinal Copia!" She said, fully surprised. But seemingly not minding the man's presence, even if her eyes wandered behind him. The cardinal glanced behind himself, spotting another sister who smiled politely at the two of them.

"With what may I help you, Cardinal?" Her voice was soft as she spoke this, it felt like a lash across Copia's back.

"I was wondering, if perhaps you might want to visit my study. I have some excellent coffee I could offer you, too. There’s nothing quite a nice warm drink and a good book--" He couldn't help the sly smile on his face, cutting himself off.

"Oh!" Her eyes wide, she looked at him quite oddly. "I'm afraid I don't drink coffee. But I appreciate the gesture."

She took a bow then and in quick steps walked inside. Copia, shocked, looked on as he saw the two sisters approach each other, grasp at their hands and rush off down the hall, giggling.

For a second, he just stood there, unsure of how to proceed. But then fury took over him and he clenched his fist.

How the hell was he having such bad luck? Come on, Copia, you’re at your prime! You can do better!

* * *

 

The Cardinal kept looking in the mirror, feeling his heart rate speed up at the prospect of what was to come. Today he had a meeting with Papa Nil, alone. No Sister Imperator to interfere. So, of course, Copia had to make sure that he looked most professional. For once in his life, he even smoothed out his usually messy hair (note: smoothed out, did not comb). Regardless, he picked up his biretta, under which Happy and JD were both sleeping.

“Good morning!” Copia announced to the two vermin, who look up at him, sniffling at his direction. “Oh? Do you like my new cologne?” Excitedly the cardinal looks back at the mirror, smirking at himself and then placing the headwear in its spot. The man is about to leave when he halts next to the door and turns around, nodding to himself. He opened his bedside table’s drawer and took out a cracker. He placed it next to the two rats, who joyfully began to munch on it.  Another rodent then approaches the two. “Ah, good morning to you, too, Ferris!”

He smiles on as he watches the three of his (many) rats nibble away at the cracker, before straightening his back and exiting out the room. He’s halfway to the Papa Nil’s office when he hears high heels clicking at the floor. The pattern was easy to recognize and he knew better than to keep walking once he hears it. Terrified of the very sound, he straightens his back even more than he thought possible and gulps.

“Good day, Sister Imperator.” He greats the woman of his nightmares as he turns slightly and she smiles at him.

“Cardinal.”  The smile on her face persists, somewhat frightening and not as inviting as any other smile he has ever seen. The woman always scared him, but he could never place why. So it was easier to just do his best to stay on her good side… Even if it was difficult at times. She was as demanding as his mother, which was not at all a good association in his brain. Copia did not like to think about his mother. Suppose this was the reason why he avoided her presence. When things were good they were good when things were bad—it was better to be dead. “Just the man I was looking for.” She announces and he is left staring at her a little confused.

“How may I help you, Sister?”

“I need you to take these papers to Emeritus the second and have them reviewed. Do not leave until this is completely read through.” She tells him as she hands him the large stack of papers which he accepts carefully. The Cardinal is a little intimidated by the size of it, but then remembers where he was heading.

“Is this very important? I have to meet with Papa—“He doesn’t even get to finish when she cuts in.

“Oh, actually that meeting is called off. I shall discuss the subject matter with him instead.”

Copia looks at Imperator then at the stack of papers, holding back a sigh of defeat.

“Very well, Sister.” He nods then, bowing slightly and walking back in the direction he had come from.

To say this was disappointing would be an understatement. Copia felt crushed. He was too busy in thought about this misfortunate turn of events the entire walk over to the living quarters. Which probably made this go by faster than it would have had he thought of his usual things.

He stops at the door and timidly knocks at it. It doesn’t open for a while and he considers just walking away and going to look for the former Papa elsewhere. However, once he opens it’s not the sight he anticipated.

Emeritus the third, naked but for the chasuble, he was wearing (that, in fact, did not belong to him) glances at him from where he leaned at the doorframe. He gives Copia an odd look before walking away, muttering “it’s for you” to the other occupant of the suite. The Cardinal sees him sit down at the edge of the large bed right before the elder Emeritus brother appears. Dressed, thankfully.

“What is it?” The other avoids niceties, clearly annoyed that whatever was interrupted had to pause.

“T- These papers. Sister Imperator asked me to make sure you review them.” The ratty man says, almost breaking out in sweat. The older man takes them and quickly looks through them. He then glares up at the other.

“I take it you’ll stick around?” Just how not amused the former frontman was became obvious from his tone.

“I was told to—“

“Whatever.” The second stepped deeper into the room, where he sat down at his desk and began reading. Copia luckily took the hint and stepped in, closing the door behind him. This was…awkward.

Sure, he had suspected things, but being here and seeing it confirmed with no denial was… off-putting. The Cardinal keeps trying to fight his glances at the current Papa, concerned about what is happening here to begin with. Seems Emeritus the third was incredibly bored, however. The lead looked over the Cardinal then, tilting his head.

“Copia, when was the last time you’ve gotten laid?” The younger Emeritus asked and it instantly made the Cardinal’s cheeks to blush a deep red. The eldest in the room perked up, turning to face the other two.

“I beg your pardon?” Copia’s voice shakes slightly at this.

“You seem really uptight…” III said as he ran a hand through his hair then and stood up from the bed. The dandy walks over to the visitor and drapes his arms over his shoulders. Copia stiffens in the spot, going a deeper shade of crimson now.

“What are you doing?” Every single possible thought about III that Copia has ever had runs through his mind. The Cardinal never knew the two that well, as much as certain supervision aspects were part of his job, it didn’t mean a lot of time that he spent with them. Actually, he knows he’s been berated by the elder brother. He even did it right in front of the Cardinal, truth be told. But what about beyond that? He didn’t know if they even tolerated him. So of course, Copia processed this as a threat and jumped back and away from the younger brother’s ‘embrace.’

The younger Emeritus laughed, turning to face the owner of the room with a smirk.

“You got to admit, he’s cute.” III offered with a shrug. II tilted his head and rolled his eyes. “You sure we can’t, frate?”

“He’s already here, do whatever you want.” Emeritus the second spoke, but there was light amusement in his tone.

Like a deer caught in the headlines, Copia’s eyes were wide and terrified as he froze in spot. What the hell were the other two even talking about? Was he going to die?

Emeritus the third stepped closer and closer to the cardinal, who in turn took steps back until he hit the wall. His hand scrambled for the door and rested just on its handle to his side when Emeritus was inches away from him. He was trying to open the door when the youngest of them all kissed him, softly but demanding. Copia squealed at the contact but successfully opened the door and bolted out of the room.

“Well, fuck…” III stared surprised, before becoming infuriated as he heard his brother laugh.

Meanwhile, Copia kept running through the halls as fast as he could, prior to jumping into his room and shutting the door with a thud. He collapsed soon onto his bed and curled into a ball.

The problem with this scenario was that he hadn’t anticipated for it to ever happen. He just never considered it. Of course, his other fixations would have never provided him with any result like this, but this wasn’t even his fixation. So why for Lucifer’s sake was he recalling the mere seconds of contact and getting giddy at it? To make matters worse, his brain couldn’t throw out the thought of the elder sitting in the room with them. It all came into a picture he actually couldn’t for a second couldn’t and didn’t want to even to throw out his mind.

Oh, this was a mess.

* * *

 

The churches corridors were dimly lit in the evening, none of the outside moonlight making its way inside. The only reason he was outside, was because he enjoyed the cool evening breeze, especially in the spring, when the days started to heat up. With a book in hand, Copia sat outside. One of the many benches seemed to have found his residence there for good as he returned to the same spot every other evening. Which wouldn’t last long, he suspected. He knew what Sister Imperator had planned for him it was just a question of time.

Whatever, though. He was outside, after having spent the previous 24 hours locked in his room and avoiding responsibilities. Not to mention the previous days incident still was fresh in his mind.

It’s surprising, however, that when he raises his eyes, he spots Emeritus the second smoking a cigarette at the other end of the courtyard. The cardinal had never before seen him there during his evenings out, so it raised the tiniest amount of worry in him. Yet, he shook the thought from his head and continued with his book. Sure that if he pretended to not see him and didn’t make eye contact, he wasn’t going to make a fool out of himself and he wasn’t going to possibly become a punching bag for the other man.

He was so distracted and intrigued by the book that he hadn’t noticed the footsteps until they were eerily close. Copia’s eyes shot up to see II dropping the cigarette to the ground and extinguishing it with his heel before stepping into the Cardinal’s space.

“Hello, Cardinal.” This was odd… Already, very odd. Usually, he never got the title of the cardinal from the other, but here he was. Actually being referred to by his title rather than an animal. Regardless, Copia could feel his heart beat and his mind lost in the battle of what to say or do.

“H- Hello.” Just how off thrown he became obvious. Copia feared that this evening will not have a happy ending. Regardless, he closed his book and dedicated his full attention to the one before him. The cardinal considered this for a second, before scooting over more to the side, however too frightened to motion for the other man to sit down. “How may I help you?”

“It just so happens that I am not as old and blind as you figure me to be.”

“Pardon?”

“I’ve seen you around the church. I’ve seen the way you talk to the sisters of sin, Rat. It’s pretty obvious you have no idea what you’re doing and it’s pathetic.” The once leader sits down on the bench next to the cardinal, glaring at him through his shades. Copia looks at him mixed between terror and general confusion. “I’ve also would like to note that I and my brother don’t entirely dislike you. Sure, you’re a disgrace for the most part, but—“ A shrug, “I take it you’re bearable. However, the damn dandy likes you more than I do.”

“Wh- what?”

“I’m suggesting if you’re not entirely an idiot, you’d stick with us. It’s more my sibling’s idea than it is mine. You know, to guide you somewhat.”

 “Wait…” Copia began, hesitant. “Are you flirting or trying to start a fight?”

Seems that was the final straw for the second Emeritus as he grabbed Copia by the nape of his neck and brought him incredibly closer to his own face. From this close, the cardinal’s mismatched eyes could see straight into the other’s and their intensity scared him. A quiet settled along them, leaving only space for the occasional wind to be heard. But the silence lasted only for a couple seconds, terrifying the cardinal. Then… Well, then they crashed into one another. Or, well, II did into Copia. The kiss was rough, all teeth and tongue. And it drove Copia mad and left him dumbstruck when he was finally given space to breathe.

“So what do you say, rat…?”

“Yes.”


End file.
